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Bobby Munroe
"Boxing" Bobby Munroe (b. 1967) is a retired Australian kangaroo professional boxer. He is regarded as arguably the greatest boxer in history, with a record of 150 wins, and no losses or draws in the Super Heavyweight division. He was noted for his extreme punching speed, and exceptional agility, earning him the secondary nickname "the ghost who boxes". Early Life Born to unknown parents on 16th August, 1967 with only his name being known, the young Bobby spent the early years of his life in sadness at the Alice Springs Orphanage for Unwanted Talking Animals. At age 10, he was confronted by another orphan, an obnoxious emu called Davey Boy, who wanted to steal his lunch money for the Bunnings sausage sizzle. No one was gonna take away young Bobby's snag, so, with a devastating right hook, knocked out Davey Boy. Bobby would've been thrown out of the orphanage onto the street, if it wasn't for the chance passing of Australia's lightweight boxing champ Frank 'Snags' McGee. He saw the potential in Bobby, and took him into his famous gym to harness his potential. The very few talking animals there offered little resistance to Bobby, who was then invited, at age 11, to train with some of the aspiring human boys of his age. It was quickly discovered that he had extreme talent, and was noted for his exceptionally fast hands that could give devastating flurries and combinations. At the age of 13, he hit puberty, and his size grew rapidly. Eventually, at the age of 14 years 11 months, he stopped growing, weighing about 198 lbs, which put him in the cruiserweight weight class (the one below heavyweight). However, in his first few amateur fights, he knocked all of his cruiserweight opponents clean out of the ring, and moving up to heavyweight did little to change this. Thus, before his first ever professional fight, Bobby, along with his coach Frank, decided to fight in the heaviest weight class of them all, super heavyweight. Professional Career Bobby is noted for his extreme dominance throughout his career, ending all 150 fights by knockout. Listed below are some of his most significant victories. Richie 'Eucalyptus' McGraw Noted for being Bobby's first ever professional fight. It took place at a dodgy boxing club in a shady part of Melbourne in 1982, with only a few dozen spectators. Richie McGraw was a 34 year old veteran, known for his intimidating attitude and huge beer gut. He stood at 6'6 and weighed nearly 300 lbs. Bobby was only 15 years and 2 months, and weighed in at 193 lbs. The fight didn't even last a minute, with Richie needing to be stretchered to hospital. He would never fight again. Tommy 'The Man Giant' Fritz Bobby had KO'd the best super heavyweights Australia had to offer, with none of his fights lasting beyond the first two minutes. His record was 18 wins and no losses. The world had finally noticed this amazing talent, and World Super Heavyweight Champion Tommy Fritz of the USA, had done likewise. Tommy was a gigantic man who lived and trained in the Alaskan wilderness. He stood at 7'4, and weighed a whopping 322 lbs. At 30 years of age, he had amassed an incredible record of 42 wins and no losses, all also by brutal KO. In fact Tommy was so savage in his fights that nobody dared to challenge him. Desperate for an opponent, American boxing authorities contacted Bobby and asked him. His response went down in history: "Yeh orroight mate" The fight took place in Anchorage Alaska, on 4th July 1987: Independence Day. Despite Bobby making a name for himself in Australia, Tommy was the huge favourite, with many predicting 'The Man Giant' (who was nearly twice as heavy as the Australian) would score a massive knockout. The fight begun, and to the shock of the audience, a frustrated Tommy was unable to land a single punch on Bobby. He was just far too agile, and by the time the round ended, Tommy was exhausted, and Bobby was ready to attack. In the second round, Bobby went on the offensive, landing vicious combos to the body of the American (he literally couldn't reach his face). Finally, as the American wore down late in the second round, Bobby executed what would become his signature move. He leaned back on his tail and used it to launch himself in the air. He then connected an enormous uppercut to Tommy's jaw, knocking him clean off his feet and onto the canvas. The referee didn't bother to start the count, instead calling in paramedics with defibrillators. Fortunately, Tommy lived to tell the tale, and Bobby brought the World Super Heavyweight Championship back home to Australia. Steve 'Stevo' Cork By 1993, Bobby had crushed all challengers for his belt. He was at 93 wins, no losses, with no fight since his title bout with Tommy lasting beyond the first round. All of his defending bouts took place in his native Australia, in Sydney and Melbourne's grandest boxing arenas. Most of his opponents had been American or European, until the emergence of a new Australian super heavyweight superstar, Stevo Cork. Stevo, born and raised in Perth, was quite small for a super heavyweight, being 6'0 tall and weighing 250 lbs. However, like Bobby, he was known for his superior punching speed. Stevo fought against 36 year old Tommy Fritz in 1992, and managed to wear down the much larger man, eventually knocking him out in the tenth round (Fritz's only other loss in his career). This took his record to 30 wins, no losses. After the fight, he called out Bobby, calling him a disgrace to his country for avoiding Aussie contenders. Upon hearing this, Bobby immediately agreed to fight Stevo for the world title. It was hyped as a battle of the Aussie speedsters, with many believing Stevo might actually have a chance against Bobby, who, at 26, was in his prime. The event was noted for its pre-fight trash talk, with Stevo calling himself the truer Aussie, something Bobby viciously denied. The 'Fight of the BBQ' as it was dubbed took place on Uluru (decided upon due to its iconic nature as an Australian symbol) on 2nd February 1993. The fight took a surprising turn however, as, from the very beginning, Stevo ran like a sissy from Bobby, avoiding contact at all costs, even being warned by the referee. Bobby, a smart fighter, was hardly likely to go chasing after him like a madman, but he still tried to close to gap where possible, yet Stevo was too frantically trying to get away. The first round ended with only Bobby landing any hits, just insignificant body shots that bounced off the body of the fleeing Stevo. The crowd turned against Stevo, with many jeering his cowardly behaviour, which seemed to contradict his pre-fight talk of being the bigger, more true blue Australian man. By the third round, Bobby had had enough. He decided to take a risk, and went in swinging against Stevo. Cornered, Stevo also wildly swung as fast as he could go. This was it. Who was the faster puncher? Who would connect first and end the fight? Well. Bobby had landed 5 variously angled punches on Stevo's face before Stevo's punch would've theoretically made contact. I say theoretically because Stevo was lying on the canvas, unconscious. Not only had Bobby won his 94th fight, again by knockout and also retaining his World Super Heavyweight Championship, but he had also proven himself to be the most true blue Aussie in the country. 'The Monster' Richter Petrov At the turn of the millenium, undefeated 32 year old Bobby Munroe had won 125 fights by KO, including 106 consecutive title defenses. Meanwhile, the Russians claimed they had nurtured an unbeatable boxing machine, by the name of Richter Petrov. At 25 years of age, the 6'10, 295 lb beast had only fought 5 times, but had won them all by knockout. In his most recent contest, Richter had hit his fellow Russian opponent so hard that it snapped his neck, killing him instantly. Bobby of course didn't back down, relishing any sort of challenge. The fighters met in the ring on the 17th May 2000 at Sydney's blockbuster BBQ Arena, in front of 50,000 fans. In the first round, Petrov walked to the middle of the ring with his arms by his side, goading Bobby into hitting him. The Aussie did not turn down the offer, landing several lightning fast strikes to the Russian's face. However, to the shock of the crowd and Bobby himself, the punches did little damage. Suddenly, 'The Monster' swung his first punch, catching Bobby by surprise and hitting him in the kidney. Somehow, he just managed to stay on his feet, but he would later describe that punch as the most painful of his career. The round ended with Bobby in severe pain from his kidney and Petrov looking completely fine. In the second round, Bobby was a lot more cautious, and was desperately trying to shield his injured kidney from the frightening Russian. He managed to dodge a lot more effectively, and counter-attacked where he could, yet it still seemed that his punches were having little effect. The third round followed a similar formula, with both fighters seemingly unwilling to go in for a full bodied slugfest. It was in the fourth round that things exploded. The Russian suddenly began to be extremely aggressive, taking wild swings at Bobby, who despite managing to block all of the punches, was still being battered around the ring, unable to ghost around the punches like usual due to the excruciating pain emanating from his kidney. The Russian, full of confidence, suddenly dropped his guard again and began taunting the Australian, much to the chagrin of his coaches. A tired Bobby punched the purposely exposed face of the Russian time and time again, yet Petrov laughed through it like they were nothing. That was, until, he made a dreadful mistake. With only ten seconds of the fourth remaining, Petrov said, "when I am through with you, little boy, I put shrimp on barbie". No phrase could ever make Bobby more angry. Summoning all of his energy, he leaned on his tail and launched at the shocked Russian, landing his trademark uppercut that shattered Petrov's jaw. "WE...DON'T...CALL...IT....SHRIMP!!!" He was heard saying as he threw the final punch. The Russian was knocked spark out, and Bobby retained his title in what was called his most difficult fight yet. It was revealed after the fight that Petrov had been using Chemical Y, a weaker version of the super soldier serum from another universe. Thus Bobby's win was hailed as even more heroic, as he beat a drug cheat. Bobby was also forced to take 6 months off fighting, to recover from what was revealed to be a ruptured kidney. However many people mark this fight at the beginning of Bobby's decline, with some saying his speed was noticeably slower than in the past, as well as his defensive ability. Jacob Jefferd December, 2008. 41 year old Bobby Munroe was still undefeated, and still the World Super Heavyweight Champion, a title he had held for 21 years. His last fight was a rematch with 38 year old Stevo Cork the previous month, with Bobby knocking out the washed up fighter in the first round. His record now stood at 148 wins. Many called for him to retire, with many far younger super heavyweights hungry for the title, with Bobby being criticised for fighting lower quality opposition. Meanwhile, there was an Australian man by the name of Jacob Jefferd who was making his own way in boxing. His age was listed as 18, and he managed to fluke his way through Australia's middleweight division, notching up a record of 5 KO wins, including wins against Aaron Flemming and a certain Dutch sony worker. He was invited to travel to America to continue his rise to the top. However, he suffered 400 straight defeats, all by first round knockout. Devastated, Jacob decided he wanted redemption, against the one man whom no one had beaten. During a press event in New York where Bobby was signing autographs and hanging out with underprivileged children, Jacob barged in, knocking out some homeless children as he went. He took a microphone and on live TV, as well as right in front of Bobby, screamed "SHRIMP SHRIMP SHRIMP SHRIMP SHRIMP! BOBBY YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A SHRIMP ON THE SHRIMPING BARBIE." Bobby stood up, ushering the children behind him. He took his own mic, "You right mate?" The fight was on. Jacob, being 5'9 and weighing 176 lbs, was by no means a super heavyweight. However, he didn't care, and officially nominated himself as one, thus meaning this was an official bout, with Bobby's world title on the line. The date was set for February 28th, 2009. Location: Sheila Arena, Melbourne. The event sold out in under a minute, with the 50,000 seat arena at capacity. Jacob picked his own nickname: "The Sexiest Man Hunk You Hath Ever Laid Eyes Upon, Peasant". The fight itself was a complete flop, with Jacob being knocked out within 2 seconds, a record for boxing. However it's what happened next that made history. After Bobby was presented with his belt, Jacob, an extremely sore loser, took a steel chair from his corner (handed to him by his coach, a long haired Mexicano) and smashed it over Bobby, who had his back turned. He was knocked to the mat, unconscious, where Jacob continued to rain blow after blow on the downed Aussie. Fortunately, a green wurm was in attendance, a longtime friend of Bobby's. He quickly entered the ring and fired the steroid infused son of Jesus into space. Bobby was admitted to hospital, where he suffered two broken ribs and a severe concussion. It was here he announced his retirement, saying he'd had enough of people criticising him, and that he'd proven himself 149 times. He also said he was tired of being targeted for fights by psychopaths like Jacob. With his retirement, he gave up his World Super Heavyweight Championship, which he had held for an unprecedented 22 years. Kirby: Coming Out of Retirement It was June 2012, and 44 year old Bobby Munroe was living in his custom built glass mansion on Uluru, enjoying the crisp Aussie winter. He'd been retired for over three years, and had spent this time devoted to his wife Sheila as well as their young son Billy, who was now 20 and had a boxing career of his own as a middleweight. He had enough money to last a lifetime, and was rather enjoying the sedentary life in the outback. That was all until 16.06.2012 at 4:27:34 pm when the telephone rang in Bobby's large kitchen. It was a representative of the pink ball Kirby, a Japanese-American fighter who had made a large name for himself by beating various big name comic characters in mma fights. The list of opponents Kirby had beaten included The Thing and Batman (many, many times). The representative offered Bobby $10 million USD to come out of retirement and face Kirby in the ring, in a mixed combat match. Bobby politely declined. However the agent phoned time and time again, and eventually even Kirby began personally ringing Bobby, asking to fight him. Eventually Kirby began to call Bobby out in public, which gained much interest. Bobby declined each time still. However, in July, Kirby fought Billy Munroe, Bobby's own son, in a mixed combat fight. Kirby embarrassed the young, modest Australian, eventually knocking him out with a huge swing of his iconic hammer. The impact crushed Billy's skull and he was hospitalised for over 2 months. After the fight Kirby publicly called out Bobby and criticised him for allowing his son to be brutalised instead of him. Moments later, Kirby's agent answered a phone call and heard "The fight's on dawg" Despite Sheila's protests, Bobby was determined to beat down Kirby and show that he could still compete with the world's best. Many were skeptical of the contest, as the rules stipulated that the competitors could attack with any part of their body and each could bring a foreign object to the contest. Kirby nominated his fearsome hammer, and Bobby chose his own famous green boxing gloves. Bobby flew to Darwin to rendezvous with his longtime coach and friend Frank McGee, who at the age of 70 was in pretty decent shape. For 4 months Bobby trained rigorously, harder than he had since the early 90's, and brought his fitness to a very high level. The 12 round fight was scheduled for the 22nd December 2012 at the classic BBQ Arena in Sydney. The fight broke the PPV record, selling over 200 million worldwide, and the arena was obviously sold out. Kirby was the heavy favourite, mainly due to him possessing a large skull-crushing hammer, compared to Bobby purely relying on his fists. Bobby had insisted on the fight being counted for his record, and thus the fight officially was to take place in the Super Heavyweight category. The lengendary boomer weighed in at 210 lbs, much heavier than ever before in his career. Kirby's mysterious inner mass prevented him from gaining an official weight. The fight began. People held their breath. No one wanted to see Bobby go out like this. Kirby stalked the focused Bobby like a predator. Both fighters were highly cautious, both respecting the others' weapons. Kirby then dashed in, taking a wild swing, however Bobby was prepared and he parried, landing a nasty flurry of punches on the pink entity. Kirby just managed to escape and he retreated. Again he went in with a wild swing but the same outcome occurred. Bobby looked in decent shape. Nowhere near his prime, but still better than in 2009. His confidence increased tenfold. He began to stalk Kirby now, dodging the hammer's predictable movement and trying to find gaps in his defense. However, near the end of the round, Bobby found himself complacent, and let his guard down against a bruised Kirby. Kirby, on the receiving end of yet another snappy kangaroo jab, summoned all of his energy and swung his hammer wildly. This time, whether it was his aged reflexes or just a brain-fade, Bobby didn't see it coming. The huge strike landed square on his chest and he was knocked flat to the ground. A winded and stunned Bobby just managed to get to his feet on the count of 8, and he stumbled to his corner as the round had ended. Kirby wasn't in much better shape, as he had taken a beating from a resurgent Bobby for most of the round. Round 2 began with both fighters highly wary of one another, and with both already rather fatigued. (Kirby was not a highly conditioned athlete and Bobby, despite his training, had extreme ring rust). The first two minutes were quite sedate, but soon the same pattern as round 1 began again. Again, with mere seconds remaining in the round, Kirby summoned his final reserves and went for a surprise swing with the hammer. Bobby saw it coming this time, and easily dodged. Kirby was now a sitting duck, and Bobby executed a 12 punch combo on his exposed face in 3.85 seconds. The final punch was of course, romantically, Bobby's signature tail spring uppercut, which sent Kirby flying into the ropes and onto the ground. He hadn't moved an inch by the 10 count, and Bobby was declared the winner, much to the sheer joy of those in attendance and around the world. The veteran Australian had won his 150th fight, again by KO, and cemented his legacy as the greatest of all time. In an emotional post fight interview, he announced his second and final retirement, effective immediately. The following day (23.12.2012), he flew back to Uluru where he was reunited with his wife and son. Post Retirement Activities In early 2013, Billy Munroe moved out from Bobby's mansion and relocated to Melbourne, where he's scratching out a career as a professional boxer. Bobby and Sheila spend most of their days in their glass mansion or enjoying the vast acres of outback on their property. He rarely ever leaves his property, but when he does, it's often for charity functions across the nation, short vacations away with his wife, or to go to Alice Springs for his monthly bulk shop for supplies. He has said that he doesn't train in boxing or fighting anymore, but that he keeps fit by practicing ballet through a private tutor that he hired and flew out to his mansion.